you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
