It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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