I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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