I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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