OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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