lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
