if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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