Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize