those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
