I smell stomach acid.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
