He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
this is an emotional support booty call
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
