I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
