that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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