I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
