Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
