You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
