Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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