i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I want a musical about memes.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
