he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I need water and some morals
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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