One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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