hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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