fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
