I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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