I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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