I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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