If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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