ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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