the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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