you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
