All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
