Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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