What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
