Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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