PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
