just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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