i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
