i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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