he thought i was a dude.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
