I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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