I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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