hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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