were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
