He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
