Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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