Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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