all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
