Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
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