i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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