THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
