Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
