SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize