we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
