I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just cropdusted the office
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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